Thursday, November 12, 2015

The Dark Horse (3)

What on earth could she do now to keep her family together, Amie worried a few days later.  If Joe was really getting some sort dementia she'd have to get ready to face a world without him.  And what about his business? For some time now, his partner had been covering for him when he needed to take a break, but did he know what was really happening?  Had Joe confided in him? Or was the partner still believing it was just his blood pressure medicine that was slowing him down. They were best buddies and golf partners as well. They had started their law business together years ago, after both had scraped and saved enough to go out on their own. Amie and Joe had been married for a few years then with one baby and another on the way, so things were tight but Amie had taken in papers to type up for churches and kids to babysit and she had worked like a trojan to help. When she thought about it now, she wondered where she had got the energy to do it all. But I was young then, she declared to herself.
"Where are you my Amie Mamie," she heard Joe murmur now as he came down the stairway. He seemed to be his old self as he came into the kitchen and bent over and kissed her on her lips. 
"Why Joe," she said smiling playfully, "you know I'm always right here." 
"Yes, I know, but what shall we have for dinner tonight? Should I pick something up from the deli?"  He asked. 
She was just cleaning up after breakfast and hadn't a thought about what to eat later. But here he was already worrying about it.
"Well, its really too early," Amie said as she put the dishies in the dish-washer and wiped down the placemats on the table. "Come on and sit down here with me as I clean up."  She invited.
"Or we could go out and have something wonderful and let someone else do the cooking." Joe insisted.
"Lets see how we feel a little later and then decide." Amie suggested and turned her back to wipe down and shine the granite counters she'd  had installed in her kitchen some years ago when they had renovated. And not paying attention now to what Joe was doing, she suddenly felt an arm go around her neck and tighten as he pulled her back against him, and then the cold tip of a knife dig into her throat.
"See how this feels and then we'll decide this?" Joe said in a muffled voice.
Amie tried to scream! But no sound came out of her throat. This was her husband, the man she had loved for decades. Why was he trying to hurt her? She tried to twist around to see his face but he was too strong and held her in a vise like grip.
His face was next to hers as he growled in her ear. "Listen, lady I don't know who you are, but you better get the hell out of here before my wife gets back, or she'll kill you. Understand! 

Sunday, October 4, 2015

The Dark Horse

Amie stood in the doorway to her husband's bathroom. There he was, apparently just out of the shower, just sitting there calmly on the closed stool. Naked!
"Tony," she called out to him, "what in the world is wrong, hurry and get dressed, and lets have lunch, the kids will be over and will want to stay and visit for awhile."
He looked at her as if she were a stranger. "Who? He asked standing up and gathered a clutter of newspapers.
The kids! Sweetheart, you know who they are," Amie answered patiently taking the stuff from him and handing him a robe.  "Eddie and Ella and then of course they'll bring little Arnold along."
"Who?" Tony asked again. And Amie very patiently went on to repeat it to him as he tried to tie the belt on the plaid flannel robe.
Putting all the papers and books down Amie murmured,"Let me help you with that dear," and, then hurried to the kitchen ahead of Tony. Worriedly, she gave the room a quick once and it looked okay, but several times earlier, he had done some minor damage around the house when she'd had to go out for something or other and he'd been home alone.  And then he had turned childlike and behaved like one just as he was doing now.  He had appeared normal then the last few weeks and she had worried for nothing. 
But now somewhat heartbroken, Amie took the ham and cheese, grain bread and mayo out of the refrigerator and set the table for lunch. She'd made the iced tea earlier and that was nice and cold and she filled two glasses.
Tony suddenly stormed into the kitchen and stood stock still, then yelled "Amie, what the hell did you do to this room?"
 Startled, she cried,"Oh-- and dropped the plates she'd just gotten down from the cupboard.  Two of her beautiful luncheon plates lay shattered on the tiled kitchen floor.
"Amie, this isn't my house, where are we?" He turned around in circles with a wild look in his eyes as if he was searching to find something familiar. Amie looked at the mess on the floor, then at the man she had known and loved for several decades and now, suddenly didn't know him.  He seemed a stranger to her too.
Tony was still a very handsome man, his hair had turned white and he had lost some extra pounds so he appeared fit and trim.  He was a attorney and had a sucessful career in the attorney general's office in DC and had provided his wife and kids with a confortable life.
But now, something had gone wrong for him, and for her as well.


Monday, August 24, 2015

The Dark Horse

Amie Andrews stepped into her lovely new house and hurriedly closed the door behind her. The wood floors gleamed and the smell in it was of "new home".  She had  just gotten through decorating the entryway or foyer, as she loved to call it a few days ago, and it was the last room in her home to do.  And it had turned out beautifully. She opened the closet door and hung her big purse on one of the hooks, and dropped her keys and sun glasses in a basket she had placed on a table that stood against the wall. She glanced around appreciatively at the colors she had chosen for the walls and the accessories. Then satisfied she had done a great job, she checked her appearance in the round mirror that hung above it.  In the reflection, she saw a slightly older woman, maybe in her sixties with a fairly unlined face, with blue eyes and auburn hair.
Amie leaned in a little closer and stared into her own eyes, then stepped back hurriedly as she saw something she did not understand.  Now she was familiar with those eyes as she had been looking at them, and looking out of them for years now.
 But today she had seen something quicken in their dept that was alarming: a flash, a glimmer. Something that brought about a quick intake of her breath. 
But was it a premonition? Something to come?  Did it explain that constant pain in her stomach?
She sucked in her stomach, and lifted her shoulders and put a smile on her face, then ruffled her short hairdo, and pinched her cheeks for more color.  Upon entering the kitchen she looked around for her husband and was totally surprised as it looked like he did not have any thing set out and ready for lunch. They had talked about having ham and cheese sandwiches on grain bread with iced tea to drink after she got back from her appointment. He loved to putter around in their pretty new room but he usually had the table set with place mats and napkins, and dishes from one of their many luncheon sets when she would let him into her area.
But today for some reason he was not there. Usually soft music filled the room from a small speaker that was hooked up to I Tunes, but this early afternoon the room was quiet.
"Tony, where are you?" Amie called as she went through the rooms, leading to their bedroom first, thinking he must have decided to go back to bed, after all it was  his day off from the office. And come to think of it, Amie thought quiltily, he'd seemed so tired lately and after all, he was a hard-working  attorney.
But coming into the room, she saw their bed was untouched and nothing seemed disturbed. No clothes strewn around, no closet doors standing open or any drawers out of line.
She saw his bathroom door was closed and paused.  Did she hear the shower running? And after standing for a minute and listening and hearing nothing, she called out again.
"Hey sweetheart, are you in there?" And when she didn't get a answer, she knocked discreetly then turned the knob and swung the door inward, then whispered, holy hell!

Monday, July 27, 2015

Stay tuned.....

Hello Friends: I'm sorry I've had to take some time off and just finish up some family things, and also, have been incredibly busy getting my next book called "Almighty" ready to send out for the finishing touches.
I will be back with a "blood curdling" short story later in Agust.


Sunday, May 31, 2015

AGE and Dreams

"How can you be that old, that's my age!"  I said again at one of my children's birthday parties and it always causes laughter. Now and then though, I'd catch a glimpse of worry cross their faces. I would see it often too as they drove away after a visit, as they waved goodbye. They'd throw kisses and smile as they left, but probably all wondered, really how is she?
Well, you know as the parade of time flies by for me, no matter how old I get I can thank my God that I can still think young. Well why not, sometimes I even go so far as to think I'm still in my forties and fifties. And young and taut!
Years ago, a hundred it seems at times, things were so different and I was nesting happily. Bills were paid up with money in the bank. I shopped and cooked and tried new recipes and enjoyed my grandchildren. A bulge had started around my middle, but that was expected at this time and it was okay. Painting, planting, mowing, oiling and filling were just some of the numerous things that were miraculously done around my house and yard,without much notice.
Then abruptly, things changed and the love of my life died!  Now my constant companion was lonliness and sadness. And forgive me Lord, I felt so much anger. Here I had been so happy at last, and life was easier, why did this have to happen? 
I felt sorry for myself, after all, I was a good person; I didn't deserve this. How would I manage?  Who would hold me now and always be there to protect me from the three am demons in the night?
Worst of all, I had to live by myself, alone with me and the inevitable quiet that continued day and night without end. This was something I had never been faced with. 
Well, I prowled the house at all hours of the day and night, lost sleep, drove miles and wandered aimlessly trying to find a niche to fit into. I didn't have that safe cocoon I'd built around myself anymore, this was a different world!
Well, I survived but it wasn't easy. But I can acknowledge the changes I had gone through wth a smile, as the solitude in this house forced me to get to know the real me.  As over time I stuggled with self-worth, self-preservation and then of course, survivor's guilt. It took time and I started to write about my sorrow, and, I filled many tablets those first years. Which to this day I still write, but now it's for entertainment. 
Now, I cook if I please or buy take-out. I decide if I want to send Christmas cards or not. I can blare my music late in to the night or go to bed at six o'clock. And mportantly too, I have learned sleep in the middle of the bed!
So my number of years may be staggering kids, but my thoughts and feelings are alive and well, and again with a youthfull curiousity.

Circa 2005                                                                                          Lyn Lacoursiere

Thursday, May 7, 2015

Alone with Time

I sit here in my faded robe
My morning coffee at my side
The shades are up, the day has dawned
And all my thoughts are on a ride.

Now I wonder where my time has gone
So fast at times, I ponder
Can these days slow down for me, or
Will they put me under.

What will give me comfort now
I question as I sit here
Will the coldness in my heart
Awaken soon. I hope. I fear.

My buoyant heart is worn and old
My hair is full of wire
My thighs are slim, but hang all wrong
My only warmth is from a fire.

My loves have always been my life
My strength and courage, and my home
Now I wonder if there's time, and
Do I really want to roam.

The times I've loved have been and gone
The lessons sometimes hurt
My feelings have been ripped apart
High and low, then tossed and turned.

Will I be content to rest
Forever in this slump
Or will I trample out to buy
The things I'll need to pump.

Will the lotions and the oils
Revitalize and give me hope
Will I emerge so ravishing
Or will I fail and mope.

Will I really need the lace
The perfumes and the creams
The magic of the "Wonder Bra"
To fulfill all my dreams.

Will I emerge again anew
Or will I cry and whine
Will I stay inside my house
Or will I dance and dine.

Will I dare to venture
Or is it time to sleep
My books, my socks and washed out flannels
Forever in my keep.

I ponder in my faded robe
A new day, warm and bright
My thoughts have circled, now plans abound
The road is now in sight.

No I say, I just won't do it
I'm learning now to live
Alone with me, content with time
Myself, the gift to give.

-Lyn Miller Lacoursiere (Cira 1995)