Monday, March 21, 2011

Will he or won't he?

   The next morning I sat holding my diamond and ruby earrings, which I'd retrieved from the pawnbroker as I thought about the day before when I had been at Dade's house. We'd lingered over coffee and cordials in the living room, and he had leaned in and kissed me.  Much to my surprise. A real kiss and on the lips!  At the time I wondered how far things would go, could it possibly heat up to an afternoon of love-making?  And now I was ready. But the man released me and stood up and began to pace around the room!
   "Lindy, we've got to talk," he exclaimed and pulled me to my feet. "But right now I've got to get you back to town as I promised."
   I wondered, what did he have in mind?
   Bone-tired after another night of grueling work and unable tos leep, I sat in an old terry-cloth robe and sipped coffee from a cup I had taken from the resaturant; a white flowered china cup and saucer. It was the only pretty thing in the room. The morning sun caught the dust motes laily dancing over the worn carpet. An outfit I'd worn to work last night lay over the arm of the old stuffed chair.  I put my feet up and sat absorbed in my thoughts, the diamond earrings in one hand and the china cup in the other. Lordy, after seeing the luxury of Dades home, mine looked pretty dismal.
   Today, the ugliness of the room in the motel, a couple of decent outfits of clothes, and a killing job and far away from anything familiar was a blatant reminder of my life. When I'd lived in Dallas years before, things had been altogether different. Of course, then I had been young and full of dreams.
   What will I do if I don't find my money?  I just can't stay here, I need a plan!
   Could there be a future for me with Dade? I wondered.  Maybe, but something about him causes an uneasy feeling in me. Suddenly loneliness over whelmed me and I started to cry, first whinpering sobs, then angry cursing tears at the man who had taken every thing I had. Then finally exhausted I curled into a fetal position and fell asleep. Or maybe it was the early stage of slumber of shadows and gray dreams.
   I was small again living in a run-down farm miles away from the city. Barefoot in a ragged dress and braid down my thin back, I felt the cry of anguish erupt from my six year old body as I was used and ravished by a relative. I didn't know where to go to be safe and I ran and ran trying to hide.  Finally after years I got a reprieve and my parents sent me away to school. I was thirteen then and never lived at home again.  I was free! I worked and saved my money and went to college, and soon was working on a degree in business
Amidst my studies and part-time jobs I met a young man at the greasy spoon cafe we were both working at.  His name was Reed Conners and for the first time I felt an attraction to a man!

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