Tears cursed down my face and the spicy, moldy smell of drying sagebrush seeped in through the air-vents as I frantically drove through the Texas prairie, as I fled back to the city. The silence was eerie as the wind whistled. I had grabbed Dade's car keys to his big Lexus when I had stumbled out of his house. The diamond flashed on my hand in the dash light as I fumbled for the ignition. I had gotten the car going, finally, but I hadn't dared to turn on the headlights until I got safely down the road.
Just when had his passion turned to abuse?
He had invited me out to his luxurious ranch for the week-end and I knew we would spend time in his bed. I had been caught up in our love-making, but, when he'd pinned my arms above my head with one of his, I'd hesitated. Then, I knew I was in trouble when he started hurting me. I had strugged and begged him to stop but that only seemed to excite him.
But I couldn't think about it now, I had to get away. Far away from this man!
I drove his big luxurious car holding back my sobs, I couldn't fall apart now, I needed to find my way back to Dallas and to the safety of my room. I was lost out there in the vast country wasteland, but I drove on frantically, and soon the city lights appeared and then I was safely home.
Leaving the keys in the car, I ran into my motel room, bolted the door, dropped my clothes on the floor. I turned on the water in my shower. And there I stood. I washed and scrubbed, then washed and scrubbed again. I needed to get rid of his smell, his touch and the hurt.
Realizing, I was shivering and the water had run ice cold, I got out and found a towel and wrapped up. Then I looked at myself in the mirror. Good Lord! My hair hung in wets clumps and remnants of mascara smeared my white face. I stared at this person. All my confidence was gone, all my hopes and dreams forgotten. I was twelve again, lost and alone. I started to cry, uncontrolled and frightened.
It was five in the morning and the moonlight shining through the motel window suddenlly dimmed and a deafening clap of thunder shook the room. I huddled in the bed covers then as a storm began to rage outside. As dampness crept in around the loosely fit window and door. Hours later, as the storm finally played itself out, I jumped up and threw the covers off. Now, I was angry, I'd been raped, again!