Tears cursed down my face and the spicy, moldy smell of drying sagebrush seeped in through the air-vents as I frantically drove through the Texas prairie, as I fled back to the city. The silence was eerie as the wind whistled. I had grabbed Dade's car keys to his big Lexus when I had stumbled out of his house. The diamond flashed on my hand in the dash light as I fumbled for the ignition. I had gotten the car going, finally, but I hadn't dared to turn on the headlights until I got safely down the road.
Just when had his passion turned to abuse?
He had invited me out to his luxurious ranch for the week-end and I knew we would spend time in his bed. I had been caught up in our love-making, but, when he'd pinned my arms above my head with one of his, I'd hesitated. Then, I knew I was in trouble when he started hurting me. I had strugged and begged him to stop but that only seemed to excite him.
But I couldn't think about it now, I had to get away. Far away from this man!
I drove his big luxurious car holding back my sobs, I couldn't fall apart now, I needed to find my way back to Dallas and to the safety of my room. I was lost out there in the vast country wasteland, but I drove on frantically, and soon the city lights appeared and then I was safely home.
Leaving the keys in the car, I ran into my motel room, bolted the door, dropped my clothes on the floor. I turned on the water in my shower. And there I stood. I washed and scrubbed, then washed and scrubbed again. I needed to get rid of his smell, his touch and the hurt.
Realizing, I was shivering and the water had run ice cold, I got out and found a towel and wrapped up. Then I looked at myself in the mirror. Good Lord! My hair hung in wets clumps and remnants of mascara smeared my white face. I stared at this person. All my confidence was gone, all my hopes and dreams forgotten. I was twelve again, lost and alone. I started to cry, uncontrolled and frightened.
It was five in the morning and the moonlight shining through the motel window suddenlly dimmed and a deafening clap of thunder shook the room. I huddled in the bed covers then as a storm began to rage outside. As dampness crept in around the loosely fit window and door. Hours later, as the storm finally played itself out, I jumped up and threw the covers off. Now, I was angry, I'd been raped, again!
Follow the adventures of Lindy Lewis from the day her house burns....
Monday, May 16, 2011
Sunday, May 8, 2011
They drank, they danced and they kissed!
That night after I finished another back-breaking shift, I limped over and sat down at the bar and had a brandy Manhatten. Dade walked in just then and flashed a smile.
"I thought you had gotten lost out there in the priarie," I remarked nonchalantly.
"I had to go out of town for a few days," he said and sat down on the next bar stool. He wore a black Western hat and a black leather jacket and the white turtle neck sweater matched the gleaming white of his perfect teeth.
"Lindy," he said, "I'd like to invite you to come out to the ranch this week-end. I remember you have the time off."
"Really Dade, that sounds interesting. I'd love to." I said.
"Great, I'll pick you up tomorrow after work then. And bring some jeans for riding." He stood up then and kissed me on the cheek. "I've got to run, but I'll see you then." And he was gone.
I sat there after he had gone. If I was going to spend the weekend that meant we'd sleep together. We had known each other for almost two months now, and it hadn't happened so far. Really!
I couldn't help thinking, what would marriage to a wealthy man be like? No more working and worrying over money. God, it was so hard to be doing this kind of work again after I'd given it up years ago.
Dade was there to pick me up Friday night as we'd planned, and it was past midnight when we got to the ranch. Lights blazed from the house as they walked in.
"I'll show you to your bedroom," he offered, "Maybe you'll want to freshen up." And I followed him through the house and into another wing of the mansion where he opened a set of double doors leading into a spacious room that looked like something out of a magazine.
"My room is just through there," he said pointing to a connecting door. "I'll be in the library, come in when you're ready. I'll chill some wine!"
After Dade left, I slipped my shoes off and buried my sore feet in the lush carpet. Then I ran a tub of water and helped myself to one of the jars of bubble bath. I sank down then into the carassing warmth of the tub and relaxed my overworked body. Music spiraled into the room and I finally stepped out onto the heated floor, and dried off. I repaired my make-up and put on my special outfit and retraced my steps and found Dade had a crystal flute of champagne waiting for me. The music had switched to a classical tango and we danced, close!
Later, he surprised me and said, "Lindy, marry me!" And I looked down and saw a diamond as big as a marble and watched mesmerized as he slipped it on my finger. "This is to help you think about it," he said then and took me in his arms. I stood on tip-toes and gave him my lips and he pressed me to him, his maleness hard against me. The champagne whirled in my head and abruptly he grabbed our glasses and my hand and led the way to my bedroom door. He stopped then and kicked it open. And we danced again, we drank and we kissed.
***
Some time later, I eased myself out of bed and put a shaking hand over my mouth to quiet my rasping breath. My lips were bleeding and my body bruised. I groped around frantically in the dark for my clothes, found my purse and then ran like hell through the dark house looking for a way out!
"I thought you had gotten lost out there in the priarie," I remarked nonchalantly.
"I had to go out of town for a few days," he said and sat down on the next bar stool. He wore a black Western hat and a black leather jacket and the white turtle neck sweater matched the gleaming white of his perfect teeth.
"Lindy," he said, "I'd like to invite you to come out to the ranch this week-end. I remember you have the time off."
"Really Dade, that sounds interesting. I'd love to." I said.
"Great, I'll pick you up tomorrow after work then. And bring some jeans for riding." He stood up then and kissed me on the cheek. "I've got to run, but I'll see you then." And he was gone.
I sat there after he had gone. If I was going to spend the weekend that meant we'd sleep together. We had known each other for almost two months now, and it hadn't happened so far. Really!
I couldn't help thinking, what would marriage to a wealthy man be like? No more working and worrying over money. God, it was so hard to be doing this kind of work again after I'd given it up years ago.
Dade was there to pick me up Friday night as we'd planned, and it was past midnight when we got to the ranch. Lights blazed from the house as they walked in.
"I'll show you to your bedroom," he offered, "Maybe you'll want to freshen up." And I followed him through the house and into another wing of the mansion where he opened a set of double doors leading into a spacious room that looked like something out of a magazine.
"My room is just through there," he said pointing to a connecting door. "I'll be in the library, come in when you're ready. I'll chill some wine!"
After Dade left, I slipped my shoes off and buried my sore feet in the lush carpet. Then I ran a tub of water and helped myself to one of the jars of bubble bath. I sank down then into the carassing warmth of the tub and relaxed my overworked body. Music spiraled into the room and I finally stepped out onto the heated floor, and dried off. I repaired my make-up and put on my special outfit and retraced my steps and found Dade had a crystal flute of champagne waiting for me. The music had switched to a classical tango and we danced, close!
Later, he surprised me and said, "Lindy, marry me!" And I looked down and saw a diamond as big as a marble and watched mesmerized as he slipped it on my finger. "This is to help you think about it," he said then and took me in his arms. I stood on tip-toes and gave him my lips and he pressed me to him, his maleness hard against me. The champagne whirled in my head and abruptly he grabbed our glasses and my hand and led the way to my bedroom door. He stopped then and kicked it open. And we danced again, we drank and we kissed.
***
Some time later, I eased myself out of bed and put a shaking hand over my mouth to quiet my rasping breath. My lips were bleeding and my body bruised. I groped around frantically in the dark for my clothes, found my purse and then ran like hell through the dark house looking for a way out!
Sunday, May 1, 2011
"Is that it, $10.000 dollars?" She asked.
Lindy awoke from the nightmare to the phone ringing. She sat up and looked around in confusion. Her head hurt and her throat was parched as she reached over to still the offending noice.
"Miss Lewis, Pug Harris here, can you stop in today?"
Her breath caught, "Have you found my car?"
"We'll talk when you come in," he said in his gruff tone.
She tossed the blankets off and stood up and for a moment the room spun. Last nights make-up was caked on her face and her hair stood up in unruly tufts. Not waiting for the water to warm she stepped into a cold shower to clear her head. Forty minutes later, she ran into his office.
Pug Harris's ruddy face was even brighter next to the red jacket he wore, and his office was messier than usual. Lindy sat expectantly waiting for him to tell her something important. She thrown on the first thing she'd come across to wear and now pulled the short skirt down to cover her knees.
"Have you found my car," she asked again. Her eyes searched his face as he sat, elbows on the desk,.
"Here's what I found, Miss Lewis, according to my connections, cars like yours are in big demand. They're stripped down and the parts are sent over the border. Or the numbers are changed, and they're repainted and bingo, there's no way they can be traced.
"Are you talking about chop shops? Are your saying its gone for good?"
"It looks that way, I'm sorry."
Lindy left his office and walked until she found a coffee shop. But her stomach rebelled at the sandwich she ordered and leaving her food untouched she caught a taxi and went back home. With her car gone for good and the money she'd hidden in it, what could she do now?
The week went by as she worked and fell into bed exhausted each night. She was depressed. But one comment Pug Harris had made stuck in her head, and one idea began swirling around in her head. Then she knew just what she would do.
"Yes, read that back to me please," Lindy asked the lady over the telephone at the Dallas Newspaper later that week.
"$10.000 dollars cash reward for the return of a black 2006 BMW taken from 54th and Magnolia on Setember 6th. No questions asked. Contact Box 62A35. Dallas Texas."
"Is that it?" she asked.
"Yes," Lindy answered, "but underline, no questions asked!"
"And how long do you want this to run?"
"I'm not sure, I guess two weeks." And that night after she finished her shift, she relaxed at the bar with a Manhatton, and Dade walked in. He flashed her a big smile!
"Miss Lewis, Pug Harris here, can you stop in today?"
Her breath caught, "Have you found my car?"
"We'll talk when you come in," he said in his gruff tone.
She tossed the blankets off and stood up and for a moment the room spun. Last nights make-up was caked on her face and her hair stood up in unruly tufts. Not waiting for the water to warm she stepped into a cold shower to clear her head. Forty minutes later, she ran into his office.
Pug Harris's ruddy face was even brighter next to the red jacket he wore, and his office was messier than usual. Lindy sat expectantly waiting for him to tell her something important. She thrown on the first thing she'd come across to wear and now pulled the short skirt down to cover her knees.
"Have you found my car," she asked again. Her eyes searched his face as he sat, elbows on the desk,.
"Here's what I found, Miss Lewis, according to my connections, cars like yours are in big demand. They're stripped down and the parts are sent over the border. Or the numbers are changed, and they're repainted and bingo, there's no way they can be traced.
"Are you talking about chop shops? Are your saying its gone for good?"
"It looks that way, I'm sorry."
Lindy left his office and walked until she found a coffee shop. But her stomach rebelled at the sandwich she ordered and leaving her food untouched she caught a taxi and went back home. With her car gone for good and the money she'd hidden in it, what could she do now?
The week went by as she worked and fell into bed exhausted each night. She was depressed. But one comment Pug Harris had made stuck in her head, and one idea began swirling around in her head. Then she knew just what she would do.
"Yes, read that back to me please," Lindy asked the lady over the telephone at the Dallas Newspaper later that week.
"$10.000 dollars cash reward for the return of a black 2006 BMW taken from 54th and Magnolia on Setember 6th. No questions asked. Contact Box 62A35. Dallas Texas."
"Is that it?" she asked.
"Yes," Lindy answered, "but underline, no questions asked!"
"And how long do you want this to run?"
"I'm not sure, I guess two weeks." And that night after she finished her shift, she relaxed at the bar with a Manhatton, and Dade walked in. He flashed her a big smile!
Sunday, April 24, 2011
The sway of her hips!
Her nametag said Betty and she had an inviting sway to her hips as she walked away after Reed ordered a steak sandwich and some fries. Nice legs too, he noticed.
"Do you want a cold beer to wash it down?" she smiled.
A short time later as she placed his food in front of him, she asked, "Are you new in town?"
"Just got here," He said and then flushed under her open gaze,.
"Where are you from?" She continued curiously.
"Minnesota,"
"Well, welcome to the south! I'll leave you now so you can enjoy your sandwich."
"So what do you do when your not working, Betty," Reed asked later as she came back to his table,
"I wish I could say nothing, but I've got two kids so I work another job."
"Goddamn, that takes alot of energy, What's your second job?" He asked then as he took out his wallet to pay.
"Soon as I finish up here I head over to Tonys and work the dinner shift. You know, you must have seen the place when you came into town. There's signs plastered all along the freeways that say "Visit Tony's Steakhouse for a Taste of Splendor!"
"Yeah, I do remember seeing them. I'll have to stop in and see you one might then. For now, thanks for everything." He could feel her eyes following him as he went out the door. At at his motel, he called Bernard back.
"You're in luck Buddy," Bernaed said, "I've got an address on her."
"Where," Reed asked.
"Right there, in north Dallas. Mitzi Grover 1620 Grant Street. But this is a few years back."
"Might work. Thanks Bern," and Reed grabbed his keys and left the room. Lights were blinking on around the city as he drove through Dallas.
Jesus, you've got to be nuts to live in this town, he muttered as he raced along going at eighty-five miles an hour just to keep up with the traffic. And he wondered, if, this was the right Mitzi Grover, would she be willing to help him find Lindy?
He ran a hand through his sandy hair as he walked up the staris to second floor and knocked on apartment number four. The place was quiet and he knocked again harder this time.
Finally a man's voice yelled out, "Yeah what do you want?" and then opened the door and glared at Reed impatiently.
"Sorry to bother you, but I'm looking for Mitzi Grover." Reed said.
"Yeah, why?" A towel hung over his sholders. Tousled brown hair hung wet and slick down his face.
"My name is Reed Conners. Just tell me does Mitzi live here?"
"So what if she does!" The man's voice cracked.
"I would like to leave my number for her to call. Its important!"
"Suit yourself," And the man walked away and left him standing in the doorway. For a minute Reed had felt like punching the arrogant asshole, but now he just laid his card with the motels number on it on a table and left.
Asshole, he muttered as he got back in the Corvette and drove away. With no destination in mind, the whole night lay ahead of him.
Where was that place Betty said she worked at, he wondered out loud as he drove. A big Texas steak would hit the spot and after driving twenty minutes in the goddamn traffic again, he found the place.
A large marquee sat atop a brick building and the parking lot was filled with expensive cars; Mercedes, Lincolns and Lexus's. Exhaust form the kitchen filled the air with mouth-watering aromas of prime steaks and fresh bread as Reed walked in.
"Whiskey," he ordered and then one of those steaks!" And as he savored the chilled drink and lit a cigarette he wondered what he would do first when he found Lindy. Would he have her arrested immediately or listen to her story. And he knew she probably would have a good one!
His stomach hurt! But was it from hunger or the possibility of being so close. Goddamn, he mumbled, she'd played him for a fool. But he would find her!
.
.
"Do you want a cold beer to wash it down?" she smiled.
A short time later as she placed his food in front of him, she asked, "Are you new in town?"
"Just got here," He said and then flushed under her open gaze,.
"Where are you from?" She continued curiously.
"Minnesota,"
"Well, welcome to the south! I'll leave you now so you can enjoy your sandwich."
"So what do you do when your not working, Betty," Reed asked later as she came back to his table,
"I wish I could say nothing, but I've got two kids so I work another job."
"Goddamn, that takes alot of energy, What's your second job?" He asked then as he took out his wallet to pay.
"Soon as I finish up here I head over to Tonys and work the dinner shift. You know, you must have seen the place when you came into town. There's signs plastered all along the freeways that say "Visit Tony's Steakhouse for a Taste of Splendor!"
"Yeah, I do remember seeing them. I'll have to stop in and see you one might then. For now, thanks for everything." He could feel her eyes following him as he went out the door. At at his motel, he called Bernard back.
"You're in luck Buddy," Bernaed said, "I've got an address on her."
"Where," Reed asked.
"Right there, in north Dallas. Mitzi Grover 1620 Grant Street. But this is a few years back."
"Might work. Thanks Bern," and Reed grabbed his keys and left the room. Lights were blinking on around the city as he drove through Dallas.
Jesus, you've got to be nuts to live in this town, he muttered as he raced along going at eighty-five miles an hour just to keep up with the traffic. And he wondered, if, this was the right Mitzi Grover, would she be willing to help him find Lindy?
He ran a hand through his sandy hair as he walked up the staris to second floor and knocked on apartment number four. The place was quiet and he knocked again harder this time.
Finally a man's voice yelled out, "Yeah what do you want?" and then opened the door and glared at Reed impatiently.
"Sorry to bother you, but I'm looking for Mitzi Grover." Reed said.
"Yeah, why?" A towel hung over his sholders. Tousled brown hair hung wet and slick down his face.
"My name is Reed Conners. Just tell me does Mitzi live here?"
"So what if she does!" The man's voice cracked.
"I would like to leave my number for her to call. Its important!"
"Suit yourself," And the man walked away and left him standing in the doorway. For a minute Reed had felt like punching the arrogant asshole, but now he just laid his card with the motels number on it on a table and left.
Asshole, he muttered as he got back in the Corvette and drove away. With no destination in mind, the whole night lay ahead of him.
Where was that place Betty said she worked at, he wondered out loud as he drove. A big Texas steak would hit the spot and after driving twenty minutes in the goddamn traffic again, he found the place.
A large marquee sat atop a brick building and the parking lot was filled with expensive cars; Mercedes, Lincolns and Lexus's. Exhaust form the kitchen filled the air with mouth-watering aromas of prime steaks and fresh bread as Reed walked in.
"Whiskey," he ordered and then one of those steaks!" And as he savored the chilled drink and lit a cigarette he wondered what he would do first when he found Lindy. Would he have her arrested immediately or listen to her story. And he knew she probably would have a good one!
His stomach hurt! But was it from hunger or the possibility of being so close. Goddamn, he mumbled, she'd played him for a fool. But he would find her!
.
.
Sunday, April 17, 2011
Every thing is big in Texas!
Reed Conners tossed his leather bag in the Corvette and hit the road. Mirrored aviator sunglasses sat low on the bridge of his nose. It was a sunny 6AM but the sky soon became overcast. Rain tinged with snow began to slide over the windshield as he turned from the gravel road onto the interstate. He had sat at his desk late into the night and studied the files again from the insurance company. Everything fit together, everything except Lindy's whereabouts. Goddamn, he had to find her!
The freeway was quiet this early, although with the drizzle and dropping temps a layer of ice would soon cover it. Country music soothed his frayed nerves as he drove lost in his thoughts, intent on his plans. He figured it would take him three days to make the trip, to get to Dallas and to a suburb called Flower Mound.
Lindy had lived there years ago and had a friend, a nurse by the name of Mitzi Grover in the city. She had come along with Lindy one time and spent some time at Birch Lake and he had also done some legal work for her.
But would Mitzi still be there after these years? And would she have seen Lindy?
Now the rain had turned to snow and the landscape began to take on a fairyland look. Traffic picked up as he got closer to Minneapolis, and after a quick stop for breakfast he was again heading south. The sun was out as he drove through Iowa where the farmers were busily harvesting their corn. After a night at a motel and a good sleep, he slipped a CD in the player and settled into some good music, and the miles flew by as he drove the low slung car. In Kansas he stopped for coffee and here the scenery was dry and bare on the prairies. Another night at a motel and he soon crossed into Oklahoma where the sky was jet black with a million stars and the temperature was a balmy eighty degress. Oil wells dotted the landscape as far as his eyes could see. And the next morning he was finally on the last stretch of his journey and by late afternoon he was in Texas where the temp was now in the nineties. Herds of longhorn cattle grazed lazily in the green pastures and a sign ahead said Flower Mound, five miles.
"I don't know how long, maybe a week," he said as he registered for a room at a place called the Wagon Wheel Inn. And after unpacking he dialed the one number he had for Mitzi Grover. And just as he feared her number had been disconnected and Dallas had no listing for her.
"Bernard," he said as he made another call, this time to his buddy, the computer guy. "Plug in that machine of yours, I need you to find someone for me!"
"Conners, what the hell are you up to? Where are you?"
"I'm in the south, looking for a woman by the name of Mitzi Grover. She's a nurse and licensed in Texas.
"How long ago?" Bernard asked.
"Back about fifteen years maybe."
"Jesus Conners, she could be dead by now. Oh hell, I'll get back to you, It'll cost you, you know!"
"Yeah, yeah, I'll call you back at ten."
Reed left his room and headed across the street to a coffee shop called Shonneys where a whiff of greasy cooking teased his hunger pangs. The place had a cozy feeling and reminded him of home. And as he came in and settled into a booth a good-looking brunette drawled, "hello handsome, what'll you have?"
The freeway was quiet this early, although with the drizzle and dropping temps a layer of ice would soon cover it. Country music soothed his frayed nerves as he drove lost in his thoughts, intent on his plans. He figured it would take him three days to make the trip, to get to Dallas and to a suburb called Flower Mound.
Lindy had lived there years ago and had a friend, a nurse by the name of Mitzi Grover in the city. She had come along with Lindy one time and spent some time at Birch Lake and he had also done some legal work for her.
But would Mitzi still be there after these years? And would she have seen Lindy?
Now the rain had turned to snow and the landscape began to take on a fairyland look. Traffic picked up as he got closer to Minneapolis, and after a quick stop for breakfast he was again heading south. The sun was out as he drove through Iowa where the farmers were busily harvesting their corn. After a night at a motel and a good sleep, he slipped a CD in the player and settled into some good music, and the miles flew by as he drove the low slung car. In Kansas he stopped for coffee and here the scenery was dry and bare on the prairies. Another night at a motel and he soon crossed into Oklahoma where the sky was jet black with a million stars and the temperature was a balmy eighty degress. Oil wells dotted the landscape as far as his eyes could see. And the next morning he was finally on the last stretch of his journey and by late afternoon he was in Texas where the temp was now in the nineties. Herds of longhorn cattle grazed lazily in the green pastures and a sign ahead said Flower Mound, five miles.
"I don't know how long, maybe a week," he said as he registered for a room at a place called the Wagon Wheel Inn. And after unpacking he dialed the one number he had for Mitzi Grover. And just as he feared her number had been disconnected and Dallas had no listing for her.
"Bernard," he said as he made another call, this time to his buddy, the computer guy. "Plug in that machine of yours, I need you to find someone for me!"
"Conners, what the hell are you up to? Where are you?"
"I'm in the south, looking for a woman by the name of Mitzi Grover. She's a nurse and licensed in Texas.
"How long ago?" Bernard asked.
"Back about fifteen years maybe."
"Jesus Conners, she could be dead by now. Oh hell, I'll get back to you, It'll cost you, you know!"
"Yeah, yeah, I'll call you back at ten."
Reed left his room and headed across the street to a coffee shop called Shonneys where a whiff of greasy cooking teased his hunger pangs. The place had a cozy feeling and reminded him of home. And as he came in and settled into a booth a good-looking brunette drawled, "hello handsome, what'll you have?"
Sunday, April 10, 2011
Meet young Johnny Thomas!
"Do you have to go?"
"Now Johnny, you know mama has to work. You can go next-door to Merna's at five o'clock and have supper there. Come right home and be sure and lock the door before you go to bed. I don't want someone coming in and stealing something.
Mrs. Thomas busily applied made-up as the eight year old boy sat on her bed. Angry voices from the apartment upstairs echoed through the thin floors. Young John Thomas stayed alone when his mother worked, he'd grown used to being scared and sometimes looked for safety in her room. The flowers on the faded wallpaper and the cheap pink rug remined him of the softness he'd once seen in a picture of a family. He'd go in there and just sit. He'd hold her perfume bottles and touch her jewelery, always careful to put her things back in their exact place.
He thought he loved his mother, but was lonely and didn't remember not being so. He'd never seen his dad, but was sure he had one. One time he'd been snooping in the bottom drawer where his mother kept papers and he'd found a picture. A man in jeans stood with his arms around his mother. Something seemed familiar about him but young Johnny didn't realize he was looking at the exact reflection of himself. He asked his mother then, "Is this my daddy?"
She was sitting at the chipped wood kitchen table painting her nails and smoking a cigarette. Her flowered housecoat was washed out and rumpled and her dyed black hair hung uncombed around her lined face. Dirty dishes were piled on the cupboards and filled the sink.
"You've been looking in my things again, haven't you?" And a slap cracked across his face and echoed in the room. Tears fell down his cheeks.
"But mama!" And he wondered, why does she always hit me?
Sometime later, he awakened in the night to a commotion coming from her bedroom. Alarmed and getting up quietly, he crept out of his bed and opened the door to his mother's room. He saw a man on top of his mother and wanting to protect her, he flew into the room and jumped on the man's back, kicking and hitting as hard as his small limbs could manage.
"Jesus Christ," the naked man yelled and threw him on the floor.
"Johnny, how many times have I told you never to come in my room? Now go back to bed!"
Shamefaced he got up on trembling legs and went to his room. Now he knew what they were doing. It was called fucking, he'd seen pictures.
Over the years, after seeing the parade of men and hearing the noises in her bedroom, he realized she was a prostitute. He hated her, he hated everything and when he was foureen he ran away from home, much to his mother's relief, he was sure. His perception of women was that they were all whores and only a means of making money for you. Someway, somehow!
Years later, as he sat in the Kansas prison, the computer hummed. John Thomas was onto something!
"Now Johnny, you know mama has to work. You can go next-door to Merna's at five o'clock and have supper there. Come right home and be sure and lock the door before you go to bed. I don't want someone coming in and stealing something.
Mrs. Thomas busily applied made-up as the eight year old boy sat on her bed. Angry voices from the apartment upstairs echoed through the thin floors. Young John Thomas stayed alone when his mother worked, he'd grown used to being scared and sometimes looked for safety in her room. The flowers on the faded wallpaper and the cheap pink rug remined him of the softness he'd once seen in a picture of a family. He'd go in there and just sit. He'd hold her perfume bottles and touch her jewelery, always careful to put her things back in their exact place.
He thought he loved his mother, but was lonely and didn't remember not being so. He'd never seen his dad, but was sure he had one. One time he'd been snooping in the bottom drawer where his mother kept papers and he'd found a picture. A man in jeans stood with his arms around his mother. Something seemed familiar about him but young Johnny didn't realize he was looking at the exact reflection of himself. He asked his mother then, "Is this my daddy?"
She was sitting at the chipped wood kitchen table painting her nails and smoking a cigarette. Her flowered housecoat was washed out and rumpled and her dyed black hair hung uncombed around her lined face. Dirty dishes were piled on the cupboards and filled the sink.
"You've been looking in my things again, haven't you?" And a slap cracked across his face and echoed in the room. Tears fell down his cheeks.
"But mama!" And he wondered, why does she always hit me?
Sometime later, he awakened in the night to a commotion coming from her bedroom. Alarmed and getting up quietly, he crept out of his bed and opened the door to his mother's room. He saw a man on top of his mother and wanting to protect her, he flew into the room and jumped on the man's back, kicking and hitting as hard as his small limbs could manage.
"Jesus Christ," the naked man yelled and threw him on the floor.
"Johnny, how many times have I told you never to come in my room? Now go back to bed!"
Shamefaced he got up on trembling legs and went to his room. Now he knew what they were doing. It was called fucking, he'd seen pictures.
Over the years, after seeing the parade of men and hearing the noises in her bedroom, he realized she was a prostitute. He hated her, he hated everything and when he was foureen he ran away from home, much to his mother's relief, he was sure. His perception of women was that they were all whores and only a means of making money for you. Someway, somehow!
Years later, as he sat in the Kansas prison, the computer hummed. John Thomas was onto something!
Monday, April 4, 2011
Me, a cowgirl?
When Dade had opened the door and led me into his home I had thought, my house was big, but I could have fit it into one wing of this place. Hardwood floors gleamed in the large foyer where a round mahogony table stood in the middle of the room with a huge centerpiece of fall flowers. A brilliant crystal chandelier sent prisms of dancing light down over the yellow, rusts and creams of the bougquet. He led me through a sitting room done in creams and beige. Davanports and stuffed chairs were set in groups through out the room and soft colorful accent rugs were scattered in each setting.
"Here, sit down," Dade offered as we went into another wing of the house. "This is my favorite place," he said then. Carmel leather furniture and shelves of books lined the walls. Soft cream colored carpet covered the floor. The room had a woodsey smell from the burning fireplace.
"I see Sarah has chilled a bottle of champagne for us." He said then.
I sank into the satiny leather chair, hopefully appearing relaxed. And hell, I thought, I could have had luxury like this if I still had my money!
That familiar hopeless feeling washed over me again that someone else had what was mine. But---maybe not! I though again of that stop in Oklahoma City. It had been a clever idea and pretty devious. And my craft with a needle and thread came in handy then as I had painstakenly sewn my fortune into the backrest of the passenger seat in the BMW. Maybe just maybe! I put a smile on my face then as Dade turned from the bar and handed me a crystal flute of the bubbly.
"Have you always lived here," I asked him.
"I was born and raised here Lindy, my grandaddy started the place and then my dad took over. He died four years ago and then my mother went, but my granddaddy is still alive but retired of course."
"I'm sorry, " I said to him as he leaned on the bar across the room in an alcove. But I really I couldn't feel very sorry for someone who was left with all of this. "Do you have cattle out here?" I asked then.
He walked over and sat across from me on a couch. "That's what I do, I raise beef cattle and palomino horses."
Being from a farm tons of years ago, I wondered what a cow was worth now, or a horse? But I sat demurely and made pleasant conversaton. "I didn't see any neighbors, don't you have any?" I asked curiously then.
He had a smug look on his face as he answered. "I don't have any, I bought up all the land for hundreds of miles around." Then a steely gleam flashed through his eyes as he went on. "Because I wanted to get rid of the trash."
I took another sip of the champagne and looked away, and uneasy feeling darted across my chest. I got up then and walked over to the large patio door and looked out where the view was breathtaking. A plush green lawn sloped down to a pond and was bordered on the opposite side with birch and pine trees. Ducks swan lazily around in the softly rippling water.
Just then a lady came into the room and announced that lunch was ready. "Follow me," Dade said and picked up the glasses. "Sarah is the best chef in Texas, so I know she put together something enticing."
And the meal was sumptuous.
The champagne had finally relaxed the knots of tension in my stomach so I ate with relish. And I couldn't help wondering how I would feel living there and being a part of this kind of life. I certainly wouldn't have to worry about where my money was then, would I!
However, Dade also wondered if she would fit in! And the booming voice of his attorney still vibrated in his ears at last night's meeting as he had shouted, '"Dadelyn, my boy, you've got until the first of the year to straighten out your life. Give up the boyfriend and find a wife, that's a female, or according to your daddy's will, you are out without a cent and everything goes to charity!"'
Dade smiled at me then for some reason, as we ate our dessert.
"Here, sit down," Dade offered as we went into another wing of the house. "This is my favorite place," he said then. Carmel leather furniture and shelves of books lined the walls. Soft cream colored carpet covered the floor. The room had a woodsey smell from the burning fireplace.
"I see Sarah has chilled a bottle of champagne for us." He said then.
I sank into the satiny leather chair, hopefully appearing relaxed. And hell, I thought, I could have had luxury like this if I still had my money!
That familiar hopeless feeling washed over me again that someone else had what was mine. But---maybe not! I though again of that stop in Oklahoma City. It had been a clever idea and pretty devious. And my craft with a needle and thread came in handy then as I had painstakenly sewn my fortune into the backrest of the passenger seat in the BMW. Maybe just maybe! I put a smile on my face then as Dade turned from the bar and handed me a crystal flute of the bubbly.
"Have you always lived here," I asked him.
"I was born and raised here Lindy, my grandaddy started the place and then my dad took over. He died four years ago and then my mother went, but my granddaddy is still alive but retired of course."
"I'm sorry, " I said to him as he leaned on the bar across the room in an alcove. But I really I couldn't feel very sorry for someone who was left with all of this. "Do you have cattle out here?" I asked then.
He walked over and sat across from me on a couch. "That's what I do, I raise beef cattle and palomino horses."
Being from a farm tons of years ago, I wondered what a cow was worth now, or a horse? But I sat demurely and made pleasant conversaton. "I didn't see any neighbors, don't you have any?" I asked curiously then.
He had a smug look on his face as he answered. "I don't have any, I bought up all the land for hundreds of miles around." Then a steely gleam flashed through his eyes as he went on. "Because I wanted to get rid of the trash."
I took another sip of the champagne and looked away, and uneasy feeling darted across my chest. I got up then and walked over to the large patio door and looked out where the view was breathtaking. A plush green lawn sloped down to a pond and was bordered on the opposite side with birch and pine trees. Ducks swan lazily around in the softly rippling water.
Just then a lady came into the room and announced that lunch was ready. "Follow me," Dade said and picked up the glasses. "Sarah is the best chef in Texas, so I know she put together something enticing."
And the meal was sumptuous.
The champagne had finally relaxed the knots of tension in my stomach so I ate with relish. And I couldn't help wondering how I would feel living there and being a part of this kind of life. I certainly wouldn't have to worry about where my money was then, would I!
However, Dade also wondered if she would fit in! And the booming voice of his attorney still vibrated in his ears at last night's meeting as he had shouted, '"Dadelyn, my boy, you've got until the first of the year to straighten out your life. Give up the boyfriend and find a wife, that's a female, or according to your daddy's will, you are out without a cent and everything goes to charity!"'
Dade smiled at me then for some reason, as we ate our dessert.
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